"allow yourself to feel the pain"

i'm thinking (but i've never felt the pain before and i'm not sure if i can start now?) i'm thinking of making a video game i was watching a video (my ankle hurts) by jacob geller about kittyhorrorshow and her games yknow the ones ive played before (my knee hurts too, and my shoulder, i should adjust my sitting position) (oh i just realized the first line could be a title and me pointing out every time something hurts (my knuckles hurt my ankle hurts) could be in reference to that that's unintentional but it's pretty good lol) (my ankle hurts) and anyway i was thinking about how maybe i could make a game (my shoulder hurts) where every time i thought about, yknow because her games are kinda about esoteric stuff like that, where every time i thought about komaeda or whatever im hyperfixating on i just stuck it in the game(my shoulder hurts)? like i think that'd be a cool little idea to (my elbow hurts) play around with. maybe not very playable, but (my elbow my knee hurts hurts) (my knuckles hurt) it still might be, like, yknow, it might be something.

actually, the title was supposed to be about a thought i had the other night (my shoulder my neck hurts hurts) (my shoulder hurts) about (my elbow hurts) (my shoulder hurts) uhhhhhhhhh emotional pain, not physical (my ankle hurts) pain, but i guess it works for physical pain, too. i block that out, too. i'm seeing a doctor about it soon, the being in (my my neck hurts elbow hurts my neck hurts) pain thing not the blocking it out thing, i think that (my shoulder hurts my neck hurts my shoulder hurts my wrist hurts) uh i think that's just like, me being used to it, y'know?

actually i didn't (my shoulder hurts my shoulder hurts my knuckle hurts, yknow the one that connects your thumb to your hand? (my wrist hurts) yeah, that one (my shoulder hurts)) start with that thing about my ankle hurting up at the top to point out every time something hurts, i was (my wrist my elbow hurts hurts) trying to do something with that game idea i had about like, yknow every time i thought about something i'd just put it right in there no matter the context? i was trying to do that, but the only thoughts i ended up having were about uh, how stuff hurts, and i think (my foot hurts) (my wrist hurts) it was like. uhhhhh it was like, by (my knuckles hurt) (my elbow hurts my elbow hurts) by like (my wrist hurts) by pointing it out in the first place i kinda (my elbow hurts my elbow hurts my shoulder hurts my fingers my shoulder my neck hurts hurts hurts my neck hurts, it's like keeping track of (my knuckles hurt) braces in coding jesus) made myself more suceptible (my knuckles hurt) to like, consciously feeling (my shoulder hurts) it? like, idk if (my arms hurt) i'd even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh be thinking (my knuckles hurt my neck hurts) about how much it hurts (my shoulder hurts my shoulder hurts) if i wasn't (my shoulder hurts my knuckles hurt) wow it's frustrating to do that every time. anyway if i wasn't (my shoulder hurts) typing it out every time maybe i wouldn't be feeling it. this turned into something i didn't mean for it to