would he even still love me? if he met me now, would he still love me? i'm so different now. what if he wouldn't? what if he doesn't miss me the way i miss him? or what if he does, but he misses a me that doesn't exist? what if he only misses the pieces of me that have since been whittled away by the ocean water? what if he doesn't know to miss these new deposits of salt and barnacle that have grown on my skeleton, and when he sees them he's convinced i'm not his anymore?

would he love me like this, all scum and decay? would he love this tired, terrible subsitute for the me that he once knew?

if he met me, and he didn't recognize me,

i don't know what i would do.

i'll wait for you forever, sunshine. i'll keep waiting. i won't lose hope. i won't. i won't.