you put this song on the playlist you made for me,
the one you made hours before we came clean about our feelings for each other.
i know how the band intended these lyrics to be read:

i never felt it when i was young
i never knew where it came from
now i feel it like a hurricane
and it's so hard to stop the rain
it's so hard to stop the rain
it's so hard to stop
♡
starts out gold, but never stays
the neon takes my breath away
and now i feel it in my veins
but i don't want to be afraid
i don't want to live this way
i don't want you to leave

i know this is intended to be a song about heartbreak, about despair,
about not wanting to feel the fear of this sadness anymore.
♡
but i can't think of it in that way. to me, this song is recontextualized on first listen.
to me, this song is someone telling me they love me. to me, this song understands how i feel,
the same way you understand how i feel, because you feel that way, too..
we both fear not heartache, but love. we're both unfamiliar with it.
♡
it's so hard to stop the rain, but the rain isn't tears of agony; it's a storm,
a hurricane of this new and terrifying thing called love.
to say i don't want to live this way is a declaration: an active resistance to our mutual tendencies to separate ourselves from people. i don't want to be lonely anymore, either. i don't want to live this way anymore, either.
to say i don't want you to leave is a desperate plea all the same, but not the futile one intended by the artist. it's an affirmation. it's a realization. it's this thing we call love made manifest, embracing it, embracing that fear.
♡
embracing that fear. embrace it, embrace each other. why else would it be the title of the song?
i love you so so so much!